28 February 2009

Shake my arms, shake my head i fell asleep on your cobweb.


I love that your laugh is silent at first. I love that your hands are rough and strong. I love that you hair is messy and curly. I love that your neck is soft and strained. I love that you would call at night and we would pretend as if we were someone else. I love that you had no boundries and were unpredictable. I love that you were the crazyiest person i ever met, the only one i could tell anything too. I love that when you strained your back, when fighting another person. I love that when we fell, we laughed for an hour without getting up. I love us laying on the grass outside talking for hours. I love that you introduced me to all kinds of scary movies, and would laugh when i screamed. I love that we would find ruffs and abbandonned houses so we could be alone. I love the way you smilied when starring at me, never saying a word. I love that we would run everywhere we went, to never lose time. I love that you had hate in your face when punching the bag and working out. I love that you would sing to yourself when you were nervous, and the way your palms would sweat. I love the crazy look you had on your face when you laughed hard, as almost if you were going insane. I love the way you sighed when you told me we could still be friends. I love the way you told me there way someone else. I love the way you looked right through me. I love the way your reaction was hatred when i showed anger. I love the way i think its my fault that you are lost, even though you were the one that trudded off into somewhere unknown.
I love you with a hatred and I love the way you know it.

14 February 2009

Old Piano.


No one understands my ills, nor the terror that fills my breast, who does not know the heart of a mother.

If nothing else, one day you can look someone straight in the eyes and say

"But I lived through it. And it made me who I am today."

Sometimes I touch the things you used to touch, looking for echoes of your fingers.

Between you and me (somewhere between now and then), this is where we buried the children we once were.

I hope they make you happy. That's what I'll say.

I couldn't convince you that the blue you see is the same blue that I see. But maybe that's how lovers know they're meant to love; they see the same blue. And they both know it.

Our language is dead. No more heavy consonants and long vowels with soft meanings. No more names only you and I know.

Because no one speaks Us anymore.

Tragedies happen. What are you gonna do? Give up? Quit? No. I realize now that when your heart breaks, you gotta fight like hell to make sure you’re still alive because you are. And the pain you feel, that’s life. The confusion and fear, that’s there to remind you that somewhere out there’s something better and that something is worth fighting for.

Sometimes you just feel everything and nothing all at once. Sometimes you’ll find yourself smiling while missing something at the same time. At times you can absolutely love a person, all the while wanting to hate them. Life comes without guarantees; except that smiling will brighten your face, laughing will enhance your eyes, and falling in love will change your life.

Painful as it may be, a significant emotional event can be the catalyst for choosing a direction that serves us—and those around us—more effectively. Look for the learning.

The toughest sacrifices are the ones we don’t see coming, when we don’t have time to come up with a strategy to pick a side or to measure the potential loss. When that happens, when the battle chooses us and not the other way around, that’s when the sacrifice can turn out to be more than we can bear.

Unless it is mad, passionate, extraordinary love, it’s a waste of time. There are too many mediocre things in life—love should not be one of them.

I have been meaning to say this for a while now. But it burns my thoart just pondering the words leaving my mouth. With the purity of a child, of nature and of sorrow, I love you unlike i have never felt before upon my soul.

I will be traveling for a ski trip, so no posts for about a week! I hope you are all well, and i wish infinite experiences in your life.
xx

08 February 2009

strumming my pain with his fingers


Giving up doesn't always mean you are weak; sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go.

If we must part forever,
Give me but one kind word to think upon,
And please myself with, while my heart's breaking.

Unless it is mad, passionate, extraordinary love, it’s a waste of time. There are too many mediocre things in life—love should not be one of them.

Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it.

I prithee send me back my heart,
Since I cannot have thine;
For if from yours you will not part,
Why, then, shouldst thou have mine?

Lets be nothing, because I heard nothing lasts forever

Stromming my pain with his fingers
Singing my life with his words
Killing me softly with his song
Telling my whole life with his words
Killing me softly with his song...

29 January 2009

So if all we have is that glance in the window. If all we have is till this train stops. If all we have is till the sun comes up, till your lift picks you up. And If all we have is till the day I die. I'm ok with what we have. - I Wrote this for you.

But really, all we want, and I speak for the entire human race here, is contact. Someone to let us know that we aren't alone. That the world isn't a dream and you and I really are happening at the same time, even if it's not in the same place. That this is real. You're really there. I'm really here. We're real.

This is real.

The relationship you have with the world is just like any other relationship. Every now and again, even if it's pissed you off for no good reason, you have to look it in the eyes and say:

I love you.

where were you, where were you? just a little late.

My feelings in every respect forbid it. Can I speak plainer? Do not consider me now as an elegant female, intending to plague you, but as a rational creature, speaking the truth from her heart.

Dearest Cecilia, the story can resume. The one I had been planning on that evening walk. I can become again the man who once crossed the surrey park at dusk, in my best suit, swaggering on the promise of life. The man who, with the clarity of passion, made love to you in the library. The story can resume. I will return. Find you, love you, marry you and live without shame.

Every love is carved from loss.
Mine was. Yours is. Your great-great-great-grandchildren's will be.
But we learn to live in that love."
-everything is illuminated

Without words, it comes. And suddenly, sharply, one is aware of being separated from every person on one’s earth and every object, and from the beginning of things and from the future and even a little, from one’s self. A moment before one was happily playing, the world was round and friendly. Now at one’s feet there are chasms that had been invisible until this moment. And one knows, and never remembers how it was learned, that there will always be chasms, and across the chasms will always be those one loves.

It is not time or opportunity that is to determine intimacy it is disposition alone. Seven years would be insufficient to make some people acquainted with each other, and seven days are more than enough for others.

Death ... a melancholy and shocking extremity.
- Sense and Sensibility

27 January 2009

Seabear

oh no, she's on fire

sleeping in my head

she's been crawling spiders

that crawl around in my bed

she's been dreaming of a wire

that leads from my head to hers

and you were never her man

you were always just a boy

and she's a liar

sleeping in the sparrows nest


Exams are over, so i am somewhat back on track! Seabear, a band showing many truths, somehow the music persuades me to live without thinking, which i believe isan infinite feeling. If you would like me to give credit to any of these amazing photographers, please give me a yell! Hope you are all doing wonderful!
xx

16 January 2009

breathe in the world around you


Fifty People One Question.

the world is moving so fast now, we are all chasing something so fast that we start freaking out long before our parents did. Feel my heart.
Feel how fast it is?
...that's a fast heart.
‘Cause we don't ever stop to breathe anymore...
You gotta remember to breathe or you'll die. - the last kiss

Sometimes it feels like it's all happening to someone else. Someone like you. And I'm just watching.

if we wait for the moment when everything, absolutely everything is ready, we shall never begin. -ivan turgenev

I'm sorry for my scattered posting, exams are this week. I hope you are all doing lovely.
xx

15 January 2009

"i will have poetry in my life, and adventures, and love. love above all. no, not the artful postures of love, not playful and poetical games of love for the amusement of an evening. but love that overthrows life. unbiddable, ungovernable, like a riot in the heart and nothing to be done, come ruin or rapture."
-shakespeare in love

"you don't know what hand you're gonna get dealt next. you learn to take life as it comes to you...to make each day count."
-titanic

"It's the possibility that keeps me going...and though you may call me a dreamer or fool or any other thing, I believe that anything is possible."
-the notebook

"The great blessings of mankind are within us and within our reach; but we shut our eyes, and like people in the dark, we fall foul upon the very thing we search for, without finding it."
-Seneca

"for a long time it seemed to me that life was about to begin- real life. but there was always some obstacle in the way, some unfinished business. at last it dawned on me that this was my life. there is no way to happiness, happiness is the way."
-souza

"some people say that the ground falls away beneath you...but with me it was if i suddenly knew it was there. it was as though i could feel the entire planet right there beneath the souls of my feet."
-the best man

"the best kind of love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds."
-the notebook

"it's the sense of touch. in any real city you walk, you know? you brush past people, people bump into you. in LA, nobody touches you. we're always behind this metal and glass. i think we miss that touch so much that we crash into each other, just so we can feel something."
-crash

You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.
-albert camus

can never read all the books I want; I can never be all the people I want and live all the lives I want. I can never train myself in all the skills I want. And why do I want? I want to live and feel all the shades, tones and variations of mental and physical experience possible in life. And I am horribly limited.
— Sylvia Plath